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Joke of the Day
"Told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows on too high she looked surprised."
Next Joke
"A toilet was stolen from a police station today... It's a pretty serious crime. The police have nothing to go on."
"Farted on my wallet... Now I have gas money."
"Jews will be celebrating Passover soon... ...to commemorate the day John Stewart was passed over for the spot on the late show."
"Whats the difference between Mashed Potatoes and Pea Soup? Anyone can mash potatoes!"
"What's grandma's favorite seasoning? Old Bae"
"What's a sailor's favorite solvent? [Cycloheptane](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cycloheptane) -- the Seven Cs."
"A sausage and an egg in a frying pan..... The sausage says to the egg: 'fucking hell its hot in here.' The egg says to the sausage: 'fucking hell, a talking sausage.'"
"What do we want? A CURE FOR TOURETTES! When do we want it? CUNT!"
"I make rabbit tuxedos for a living. I'm a hare-dresser."