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Joke of the Day

"What's a sailor's favorite solvent? [Cycloheptane](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cycloheptane) -- the Seven Cs."

"4 lawyers died in a car crash. Oops, sorry, wasn't supposed to put the punchline in the title."

"I had a heated argument with my wife last night... Apparently leaving the water heater on got me in hot water."

"I'll date any guy that can digest a seagull faster than me."

"What did the dog say before he died? Well I'll be dog-gone."

"{marriage counseling} I guess it all started when I saw him put the toothpaste on before the water... *therapist scribbles furiously*"

"What's the one thing a mechanic can't fix? Stupid"

"What's the number one cause of pedophilia? sexy kids"

"No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery."

"Life is like a box of chocolates, The good ones are always gone before I get there!"