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Joke of the Day

"I bet Edward Scissorhands is very much afraid of Edward Rockhands."

"""It's good but it's not right."" Roy Walker having sex with a corpse."

"Disney's Aladdin taught me that as long as you have a foundation of lies, actual magic, and one of you is rich, a relationship can work."

"Hello? Is the Communist Party here? Delete my subscription. I just won the lottery."

"What has 50 legs but can't walk? Half a centipede."

"Why can't bike stand on its own? ...because it's two tired."

"John Boehner killed a bug at the state for the union address It was a House fly."

"You have the nicest syntax I've ever seen."

"What is the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk."

"Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter."