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Joke of the Day

"WHAT DO WE WANT? License and registration, please. WHEN DO WE WANT IT? Sir, please stop shouting and step out of the vehicle."

"Oldie.....Mexico will never win an Olympic medal in swimming or track and field..... ... because every Mexican who can run, jump or swim lives in the United States."

"I may be dating myself here, but the restaurant doesn't mind my intricate placement of mirrors that fool me into believing I'm not alone."

"Pretty sure my refrigerator is having sex with itself from all the noises its making."

"Charm me with your intelligence or just wait till I'm really drunk."

"Dear Milk of Magnesia manufacturers: Please add : 'Don't trust a fart' to your side effects label. kthanksbye"

"Why did the mortgage broker go out of business? ...because he lost interest."

"When I'm out with my kids and I see an x-boyfriend I like to scare him by saying ""Don't make eye contact with daddy."""

"What does a ghost trucker drive? Frightliner edit: sawonne assured me no apology was necessary."

"Hey online media: ""Comfortability"" isn't a word. The noun you're looking for is ""comfort."" And it doesn't need you to give it a fancy hat."