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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you cross dessert with a monkey? A Meringueutan"

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"You know when your a procrastinator when... You're"
"Horses kill more people than sharks, which is weird -- I didn't even know horses could live underwater."
"I assume anyone sitting alone in a car in the dark corner of a grocery store parking lot is waiting to meet a hitman who is running late."
"What do you call a horse that is on fire? Neighpalm"
"THERAPIST: what's wrong? WIFE: he speaks in typos ME: EVERYTHING IS JUST FIND BRENDA! THERAPIST: ok maybe we should take 5 ME: food idea"
"I hate it when people pretend they know everything about culture when they talk about Mozart They probably have never seen any of his paintings."
"Since it would take human contact to get Ebola. Everyone on Twitter is safe."
"Handjob contest Beat off the competition"
"How do rabbits get to work? By rabbit transit!"