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Joke of the Day

"If you've had your name called over the PA system at a grocery store, you're now famous enough to compete on Dancing with the Stars."

"I hate being bipolar... But it's also pretty awesome sometimes."

"My wife is an angel A man tells his friend, ""My wife is an angel."" His friend replies, ""Lucky you. Mine's still alive."""

"The barman says, ""We don't serve time travelers in here"". A time traveler walks into a bar."

"I love my toilet. We've been through a lot of shit together."

"Italian restaurant. I went to my local Italian restaurant last night, but there was a large fat woman standing at the entrance. I couldn't get pasta."

"Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No, neither have they."

"How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change the lightbulb and the other to beat the room for being black."

"What did the blonde's left leg say to her right leg? Between the two of us we can make a lot of money."

"Step 1: Walk on water. Step 2: Turn water into wine. Step 3: Prophet"