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Joke of the Day

"Just got my results from ancestry dot com and it turns out I'm a quarter manatee."

"I brought a gun that shoots knives to a gun fight. Everybody was like whoa. We didn't even fight. Went to get nachos. Cool group of dudes."

"Hey baby are you a unbalanced equation? Because I think I need more of U! Edit 1: Also sorry for the bad grammar in the title sadly I cannot change it..."

"If I was Baltimore's head coach I'd probably just say ""That's so Ravens"" after every play."

"The doctor wrote me a prescription for dailysex But my girlfriend insists it says dyslexia"

"What is yellow and cant swim? An excavator. Why? It only has one arm."

"What does America and my Milk have in common? Both will go bad in 9 days."

"Did you hear that the sine function left home? He still comes home periodically."

"My son just explained how he wants to make a necklace out of my hair which is totally normal & doesn't at all concern & terrify me."

"How does Luke Skywalker get through the forest? Ewoks"