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Joke of the Day

"Engineering students are always confused by women... ....why do the ones with the most streamlined bodies put up the most resistance?"

"These kids today need to show a little respect to those of us, who fought for, and won, the right to party."

"What quality does Elon Musk look for in a woman? He just wants her to be down to Mars"

"Being a software engineer is pretty cool because I can just stare at my screen/zone out & if anybody questions me I say I'm optimizing code"

"Difference between inlaw and vultures What is the difference between in-law and vultures? - Vultures attack first, when you are dead. edit: In-law mean's ''Girlfriend/boyfriend's mother''"

"Rum: ""Drink me."" Me: ""No, I'll get a hangover."" Rum: ""Nah, you'll get funnier and better looking!"" Me: ""Really?"" *drinks* Rum: ""Sucker."""

"*Pays bills* *Bank turns off debit card for suspicious activity*"

"I'm really good in bed. When you compare it to how fucking awful I am out of it."

"She blinded me with Science. Okay, it was pepper spray."

"Why do gay men get so much hate? Because sometimes, they're fucking assholes."