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Joke of the Day

"Letter to Santa... Little boy: Santa please send me a little brother!... Santa: send me your mother!!!"

"I respect whoever allowed women into the military. Girl on period + gun = unstoppable."

"Lately I've found my job, building kitchen work surfaces, to be counter productive."

"A friend told me there's a place like twitter called ""outside"" where people favorite each other by making eye contact and smiling. Unfollow."

"""If I could have dinner with any person, dead or alive... ..I would choose alive."" -BJ Novak-"

"What's the difference between a lesbian and a vacuum cleaner? One is great with a carpet, the other one sucks my dick."

"What did a young Pink Panther sing when he was playing with his magnifying glass in the back yard? Dead ant; dead ant; dead ant dead ant dead ant..."

"Technical truths: according to chemistry, alcohol actually is a solution!!"

"How will the whales ever evolve if we keep pushing them back in the water?"

"Ikea meatballs pulled from shelves because they contain horse meat. Man, that's the last time I buy meatballs at a furniture store."