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Joke of the Day

"Why can't a lesbian diet and wear make up at the same time? Because..........It is hard to eat Jenny Craig with Mary Kay on her face."

"At first I was shocked by how graphic the sex scenes in Rise of the Planet of the Apes was.... Then I realized I was watching Interracial Gangbangs part 7"

"Why did Hitler's SS soldiers love animals? They were all veteran aryans"

"I shaved all the hair of my girlfriend's cat. Hopefully she takes the hint."

"America's national mascot should just be a drunk white girl typing on a shattered iPhone."

"""Knock knock"" ""Who's there?"" ""Pizza"" ""My new boyfriend who? ""No. Pizza"" ""My future husband who?"" ""No."" ""Playing hard to get who?"""

"What is the difference between a cat and a comma? A cat has claws at the end of it's paws, a comma is a pause at the end of a clause."

"To avoid taking down my Christmas lights, I'm making my house into an Italian restaurant."

"What did Stephen Hawking name his new hair salon The Curl Up and Dye"

"Thank god the ""S"" on my keyboard doesn't work... It means I can apply for jobs and they think I'm just an ex-offender."