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Joke of the Day

"At first I was shocked by how graphic the sex scenes in Rise of the Planet of the Apes was.... Then I realized I was watching Interracial Gangbangs part 7"

"My doctor told me, ""If you don't quit smoking, it doesn't really matter how poorly you eat"" and that was the best day of my life."

"I'd make jokes about midgets, but that would be little of me."

"Lawyer: why do you want a divorce? Wife: because he use idioms incorrectly. Me: it's not my cup of shoes, Linda!"

"What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac do with most of his time? Stay up all night wondering if there is a Dog."

"how do you make a dog go ""meow""? Freeze it solid then push it through a band saw. MEEEOOW!"

"What did the car-painter say to the carpenter? ""You sound just like me!"""

"Why the musician sold his computer... Not enough gigs."

"I ate everything, including the H."

"The only thing worse than a cold toilet seat is a warm one"