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Joke of the Day

"Thank god the ""S"" on my keyboard doesn't work... It means I can apply for jobs and they think I'm just an ex-offender."

"This may be the vodka talking, but ."

"Why was the photographer arested? Indecent exposure."

"RED, WHITE, AND BLUE, More like hepatitis type 2 ayyy lmao"

"If you had a million dollars and gave away one quarter and another quarter and then another quarter how much would you have left? A million dollars minus 75 cents."

"I'M RAGING AGAINST THE MACHINE! Okay, I'm just frustrated with this copier, but I sighed pretty loud, so I think it knows how I feel!"

"I wish they made aviator goggles for cats because my cat looks pretty dumb riding in my motorcycle's sidecar without them."

"What happens when you double park your frogs? They get toad!"

"Duck in my soup. Me: Waiter, there's a duck in my soup... Waiter: That's a pond, you're at a park, I'm just here with my family, will you put some pants on?"

"Does anyone know any good Groundhog Day jokes? Because I keep hearing the same ones over and over"