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Joke of the Day

"Oh you're in the shower? Here's the seven worst songs from your playlist. - shuffle mode"

"So, the KGB walks into a bar... ...and they start, uh... they... I, uh... I don't know. I didn't see *anything*; I swear!"

"Why would anyone want to study the Earth and how it rotates? I guess that some people just want to see the world turn"

"""LOL, NOPE"" -Me, 25 seconds into the marathon"

"theres a train nerd counting the number of ppl that get on and off at every stop. at first i pitied him but he seems happy so now i hate him"

"The Dalai Lama walks into a pizza store... and says, ""Can you make me one with everything?"""

"""Snitches get stitches,"" I whisper to my 3 year old as he watches me brush Oreo crumbs from the bed sheets."

"Because it ruins the joke. Why should you never put the punchline in the title?"

"If there's a sock on my doorknob it means I'm having sex with the other one."

"Why couldnt Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman."