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Joke of the Day

"Apple CEO Tim Cook has come out as gay. This totally explains why the new iPhone charger holes became tighter after Steve Jobs died."

"I don't trust anyone with a beard, especially a woman"

"The US Census Bureau is known for kicking ass And taking names."

"Oh shit, I have a boner. Time to stop twittering and get on Chatroulette"

"What did the hopeless romantic baker say to the dough? You're my life's devotion. I knead you!"

"Have you ever gotten laid in a sleeping bag? It's horrible. You can't breathe, it's all sweaty, and your scoutmaster is covering your mouth."

"vote for me if ew like it watsup boring.facebook fucking.viber irritating.tango disgusting.skype ignoring. google porn'in ....lyf is complicated."

"What did the poplar tree say to the weeping willow? Hey pal, you just need to branch out more."

"if you told 18 year old me that in 10 years i'd be thinkin about harriet tubman on 4/20 instead of weed, i'd have said ""whos harriet tubman"""

"Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now."