198869

Joke of the Day

"TERRORISM ALERT!!! I'm gonna blow up the comments section"

"ME: [whispering]""Yes, 911? Someone's breaking into my house!"" 911: Stay calm. Do you have an address? ME: ""um no. I have on pajamas"""

"Why is the UK suddenly a happy place? Because now they too have a day to light fireworks on!"

"Q: Why was the blondes' belly button sore ? A: Because her boyfriend was blonde too."

"A Jewish boy goes to his father and asks for 50 cents... ""I don't have 40 cents. What do you want with 30 cents? Here's 20 cents."""

"If you play connect-the-dots with the stains on my shirt, it reveals a picture of a grown man who needs to use a bib."

"What happens when you combine TNT with a hard drive? It gets blown to ***bits!***"

"Been throwing away this piece of tape for the last 17 hours"

"An Italian and a Jew go into business together, who looses? the government"

"What do you call someone who sells their butthole for sex? Prostatute"