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Joke of the Day

"Life tip! (Joke) When someone tells you to expect the unexpected, slap them and ask if they expected it!"

"Where was the first chicken fried? In Greece."

"What do a trickster and a multiplicative inverse function have in common? They both want to pull 1 over on you."

"I have this theory that McDonald's hamburgers are actually made out of their employees. That's why they're always hiring."

"I am an actual real house cat. After I take a bong-hit I SWEAR I can type in English for about 60 secmeow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow"

"You're only limited by your own imagination! And money. And talent. And genetics. And time. And other people. Go for it!"

"People always keep making jokes about how people died in the Holocaust, my grandpa died during the Holocaust. He fell off of a guard tower and broke his neck."

"I finally started writing the book on herbs I've been putting off for so long, I guess it's.. :looks directly at the camera: ""About thyme"""

"What is literally the most important fact you'll ever learn, that will totally blow your mind? That people exaggerate."

"What does sex have in common with a savings account? You lose interest once you make a withdrawal"