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Joke of the Day

"Be yourself; everyone else is already Batman."

"What's the new Taken prequel going to be called? Taken Befour"

"I've spent the last hour masturbating on the couch. This psychiatrist seems to be taking a lot of notes."

"If you believe binoculars are overrated, then look no further."

"I make out with a squirrel at a party one time, and now everyone is scared of me? That's just ridiculous, he was dead for at least 2 hours."

"Ever hear the one about the welfare moocher who used his government payoffs to live on lobster and steak? It was Donald Trump."

"*pulls away from kissing -What does CVS stand for?"

"Why could Darren jump higher than Zeus? because he was mortall."

"How do you make Halloween great again? By carving a Trumpkin"

"End a boring conversation by opening an umbrella in their face"