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Joke of the Day

"My friend told me I don't know what irony is... Which is ironic, because we were at a bus stop."

"What do you get when a ghost takes a crap? Rectoplasm."

"What's the difference between an onion and a prostitute ? I don't cum when the onion cries and begs for mercy as I cut it up."

"A proton walks into a bar and orders a dr pepper no ice The bartender replies with ""are you positive?"""

"DOCTOR: Do you have any questions? ""Can I shower with this cast?"" DOCTOR: What do you think, guys? PHOEBE, JOEY, CHANDLER, MONICA: Sure!"

"When you run out of milk from a cow you move to the UDDER one."

"""Let's go with a clown, a penguin, and a guy that tells riddles."" - The guy who came up with batman's villains."

"Extinction ""Not a chance."" Said the last female Dodo, as she walked away from the last male."

"Thanks to advertisements I know I need to help the diseased, the pregnant and those dying of cancer... And then have a smoke."

"What's the difference between obese and morbidly obese? Obese is when you can't see your own genitals, morbidly obese is when you can't see your own genitals in the mirror."