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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between an onion and a prostitute ? I don't cum when the onion cries and begs for mercy as I cut it up."

"What does a limp dick and a king cobra have in common? You don't fuck with either of em!"

"I always say ""I was wondering when you'd find me"" when I get in my car. That way if someone's ever in the backseat I'll look cool as shit."

"Q: What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball? A: A guy will actually search for a golf ball."

"*Dino-Jesus preaching to the dinosaurs* ""Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."" *Asteroid crushes Earth* ""Dammit Dad."""

"What's the difference between a baby and a sandwich? I don't fuck a sandwich before I eat it."

"How did the mathematician deal with his constipation? He worked it out with a pencil"

"And if I die before I wake I pray a virus my phone to take."

"I don't even want to know how many nude pics Donald Trump's cell phone must have of him."

"I tried to give myself a sex change but I couldn't quite pull it off."