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Joke of the Day

"I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die... then I got Netflix, so now I have better things to watch."

"My wife came home from work crying yesterday and asked me to console her"

"What do sick composers drink? Tchai *cough* Tea"

"What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket filled with manure? The bucket"

"What goes great with Alphabet Soup? Times New Ramen"

"What kind of bees make milk? boo-bees"

"Don't hand out condoms to high school students. Take away their deodorant and toothbrush. That'll cut down teen pregnancy"

"Have you heard like 50% of Chinese people have cataracts? Yeah, I guess the other 50% drive ""rincoln towncah""."

"A Horse goes into a bar and says Nothing. Because a horse cant speak."

"MY friends are like second-day socks... They come through in a pinch, but they really stink sometimes."