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Joke of the Day

"Boss: You need supervision. Me: *squints really, really hard*"

"With all the racism talk going around I thought I would do my part to put a stop to it. I am no longer going to use the word ""Vinegar"" at work because it sounds slightly racist."

"Your mums so fat, when she performs oral sex... ...people shout ""THAR SHE BLOWS!"""

"Husband: ""Oh the weather is lovely today. Shall we go out for a quick jog?"" Wife: ""Hahaha, I love the way you pronounce Shall we go out and have a cake'!"""

"Not sure, but I think I just got to 3rd base with my toothbrush."

"I'm despondent. I'm chained to the phone charger. It's so fucking landline."

"Energizer Bunny made a mess.... I put the batteries in backwards and it just kept cumming and cumming"

"A woman got wooden breast implants yesterday. It would be funny if this joke had a punch line wooden tit."

"Past, the present and the future.. The past, the present and the future all walk into a bar at the same time.. IT WAS TENSE!"

"What's the definition of a will? Come on you guys, it's a dead giveaway!"