51433
Joke of the Day
"I ate a gluten-free lactose-free low carb pizza for dinner tonight. (It was a raw tomato)"
Next Joke
"Wife: My hubby & I have, what he calls-Olympic sex. Friend: Wow, must be a terrific sex life? Wife: Not really. It only happens once in 4 years."
"Remember when you used to blow bubbles as a kid? I ran into him the other day, he wanted me to tell you hello..."
"I have sex with my girlfriend and her twin. How do I tell them apart? Her brother has a moustache."
"First man discovered fire. Then he invented the wheel. Then there was, like, 500 years where he just kept setting the wheel on fire."
"In 2003 an Olive Garden waitress told me to tell her when to stop grating cheese on my salad. As far as I know she's still doing it."
"Kanye tryin to get a parrot to talk, says to him: Polly want a cracker? Parrot look at Kanye, say Nigger want a watermelon?"
"I need a less intrusive addiction than Twitter so I started using meth this morning."
"What do you call a stupid person? stupid"
"Before you refer to someone as your ex, make sure they know you dated."