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Joke of the Day

"A black man, a Muslim, and a Communist walk into a bar... The bartender says, ""Hello, Mr. President!"" Courtesy of my Fox News-watching mom..."

"I like my politicians like I like my coffee. I don't like coffee."

"I've been asking God to send me my soul-mate. Either he's not listening or we've got very different ideas on how she should look."

"If 4 people have sex is called a four-some 3 people have sex is a three-some and 2 people have sex is a two-some Now you know why they call me handsome"

"Going to a restaurant alone makes me feel like a dinosaur in Jurassic Park Everyone is just there to watch me eat."

"""Kindly let me help you or you will drown,""... ...said the monkey putting the fish safely up a tree."

"For valentine's day, I'm taking my wife to see ""50 Shades"". How long is the movie? I need to know what time to pick her up."

"What is the Similarity between McDonalds and Anal sex? When we were young, we were told McDonalds was fine for us. But when we grew up... we found out it wasn't at all!"

"""We like the idea, we do. We're just afraid it's going to keep the viewer awake."" - Sundance Channel execs"

"Every day, there's a kid coming to my store looking for trouble... And every day, I tell him we're sold out. Can't he buy Monopoly instead?"