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Joke of the Day

"Weird Question in Exam Q) What do you find in cells? My Ans) Black People . . . I dont know why do they ask such weird questions in biology."

"Why do pandas have black eyes? SHE FELL, DAMNIT! God! What is with all the fucking questions?"

"I feed my cat lemons. He's a real sour puss."

"What did Hitler say when the Allies landed on Normandy? Dang, I did Nazi that coming."

"diet tip: your pants will never get too tight if you don't wear any."

"You know you're too drunk to drive when... The tree you swerved for is actually the air-freshener."

"I wanted to put a pizza joke here ...but it was too saucy."

"Teacher: I want you to tell me the longest sentence you can think of Pupil: Life imprisonment !"

"What's Jian Ghomeshi's favorite vegetable? Artichoke."

"Can't stop thinking about really disturbing things today, like what if they had called him Illinois Jones."