51407

Joke of the Day

"Why aren't there any knock-knock jokes about America? Because freedom rings."

"A robot walks into a bar. ""What can I get you?"" the bartender asks. ""I need something to loosen up,"" the robot replies. So the bartender serves him a screwdriver."

"A man cheats... on his girlfriend named Lorraine with a girl named Clearly. Suddenly, Lorraine died. At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, ""I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone."""

"[at Victoria's Secret] *folding panties on table* ""Sir, where are the fitting rooms?"" Oh, I don't work here. *continues folding panties*"

"I came out of the closet today... And I'm currently enjoying the wonderful world of Narnia!"

"A book fell on my head today... I've only got my shelf to blame."

"I have a crowbar in my garage. Worst customers, they shit everywhere."

"[at funeral] ""my phone is vibrating"" want me to create a distraction so you can answer it? ""no, are you craz- *points at casket* HE BLINKED"

"I took an 8 hour class on door-making... Don't knock it till you try it"

"Why shouldn't you laugh when a black man falls off his bike? It could be ~~yours~~ your bike. EDIT: Spelling."