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Joke of the Day

"How do you call a car designed for midgets? Half a Romeo. I'll show myself out."

"So I ruined the employee barbecue yesterday. My boss wouldn't stop grilling me about it."

"how to get into shape: 1. punch a bear 2. run. this is your life now"

"What do you call a sarcastic crimminal going down the stairs? A condescending con descending."

"Why did the parrot fall out of the tree? Because it was dead."

"What's long and green and smells like pork? Kermit's finger."

"Oh, you're an American? Yeah, right. Name 5 disastrous foreign policy decisions."

"How do you keep a Turkey in suspense? I'll tell you later."

"A man brings some condoms to the cashier... ""I thought those were $4.99"" said the man ""35 cents for the tax"" replied the cashier ""Oh, I was wondered what kept those things on."""

"""...any reason why these 2 should not be married, speak now or..."" They're engagement photo only got 21 likes on Facebook! *crowd GASPS*"