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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between some tuna , a piano and some glue ? You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna"

"[OC] Did you hear about this new restaurant they're opening called The Glory Hole? ...Yeah, it's a real hole in the wall."

"Donald Trump has been saying he will run for president as a Republican. Which is surprising, since I just assumed he was running as a joke."

"""Hey Fred"" Yeah Barney? ""The Bee Gees have no hot chicks in the band"" Yeah but ABBA do!"

"Used a bag to pick up dog shit in yard, tiny ants all over it. Later, saw 2 ants on my arm. My body is now crawling w phantom dogshit ants."

"A man asked Hitler "" Would you kill a jew for 8 pieces of gold? "" Hitler said : Nein."

"Pete Carrol has kidney stone complications. It should have been removed by surgery.... (wait for it).... But he decided to try to pass it."

"Desperate, I pull a goose from my bag and throw it screaming into the bully's face. Gertrude, my biggest and angriest goose, destroys him."

"Can I go to a spa and hire someone to pop the pimples on my back? Like what do single people do about back pimples?"

"Dear Santa, Please send your credit card numbers. it's only fair since you're getting the credit for the gifts, that you should start paying for them also.."