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Joke of the Day

"What do mother's who boycott pharmacy drugs and kids who stop playing valve's fps' have in common? They are both over the counter strike"

"I got arrested for following my dream. The owner of that Ferrari thought I was a hitman shading him."

"My wife said she wanted to have sex like in the movies.. ..so I fucked her in the arse and came on her face and in her hair. I guess we don't watch the same movies."

"sometimes i call watermelons summer pumpkins and nobody ever knows what im talking about."

"Seven days on a honeymoon make one hole weak"

"How did Helen Keller discover masturbation? She tried to read her own lips."

"What do you call a red-headed ninja? A ginja... Ensue mildly dramatic slow clapping."

"What do you call cheese that is by itself? Provolone"

"*Boss approaches desk* ""What the fu.."" Me, wearing paper clip necklace - ""See? I knew you'd be mad so I made you one too"""

"Summer Safety Tip: Before swimming in the ocean, cover yourself in gluten to lower the chances of being eaten by health conscious sharks."