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Joke of the Day

"A Jewish kid.... asks his dad for ten dollars. His dad replies, ""Eight dollars? What do you need five dollars for?"""

"you know how in movies the women always wake up with hair and makeup already done? I wake up like that but with a top hat&full tuxedo"

"Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial muscles."

"[the beeping to remind me to put on my seatbelt finally gives up] *looks at driving test instructor* ""finally"""

"I shall play you the song of my people *stomach growls*"

"How long does a dog's bark last? **Ruff**ly a second."

"What do you call a flying skunk? A smellicopter!"

"What bill is the Congress's favorite? Of course the $ bill!"

"Canadian knock-knock joke *Knock knock.* **Who's there?** *Sorry.* **No I'm sorry.** *No I'm sorry.*"

"My computer's RAM isn't that great... ...but it still has faster processing than the DMV."