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Joke of the Day
"My computer's RAM isn't that great... ...but it still has faster processing than the DMV."
Next Joke
"Dr: I'm giving u a proton-pump inhibitor Me: LIKE A GHOSTBUSTER? D: No for acid reflu *sees tears welling in my eyes* yes for busting ghosts"
"It's funny how you think it's your cat leaving all those dead birds on your doorstep."
"""Trent! Your only job was to prep the classroom for Diversity Day!"" ME: *in full scuba gear* look, I think ""diver city day"" could be fun too"
"Date: any pets? Me: a pet rock D: lol at least u don't have to housetrain it Me: *flashback to piles of pebbles all over my house* haha yeah"
"Getting to bed early so I can be well rested and fully alert for my morning anxiety."
"My new american football video game has so many glitches. It's really maddening"
"What's the difference between pink and purple? Your grip.."
"u don't need dangerous marijuana pot get high on life -ride a bike -read a good book -make a sacrifice to the dark lord -watch a sunset"
"I just realized something. Jesus backwards is susej =sausage. Jesus is a sausage. Is this a conspiracy? I really need to know"