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Joke of the Day

"Yo mama so fat when God said ""Let there be light"" he he to ask her to move out of the way."

"My car was making this annoying sound . . . . . . so I went to see a mechanic. Me: My car is making an annoying sound. Mechanic: Easy fix. Reach over. Open the door. And push her out."

"Did you know i DJ? Yeah, but I only do it every unce in a while."

"Why did the sandwich shop sound terrible? It was out of tuna..."

"There's two things I can't stand in this world: people intolerant of other's cultures... and the Dutch."

"Why do you get aroused when you look in the mirror? Because your dick thinks you're a pussy too."

"The real reason David beat Goliath is that when David threw a rock, Goliath threw scissors."

"The most awkward part of meeting new people is when my kids say, ""Please help us."""

"What does an Italian... What does an Italian have when one arm is shorter than the other? A speech impediment. AY!"

"Why is marriage like a tornado? Sure it's all sucking and blowing in the beginning, but by time it is over your house is gone."