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Joke of the Day

"What does an Italian... What does an Italian have when one arm is shorter than the other? A speech impediment. AY!"

"Ugh I hate when I go to shoot someone with a gun and then realize I accidentally packed my hot glue gun and end up scrapbooking for hoourrrs"

"Having sex with a redditor is like reading the user license agreement. Nobody ever does it."

"Mexican and black jokes are all the same Once you have heard Juan you have heard Jamal."

"Probably not a coincidence that Taylor Swift just spent $17M on a mansion only two states away from me."

"I recently bought a dog from a Blacksmith... And as soon as I got him into the house he made a bolt for the door"

"If I burn my mouth on ONE MORE FUCKING PIZZA I will probably continue to buy and eat pizza for the rest of my life."

"What did the trailer park girl say when she lost her virginity Get off me dad! your crushing my smokes!"

"What's the difference between a South African prison and Leonardo Dicaprio? A South African prison has an Oscar"

"[Donald Trump's election speech] ""America, I have only 1 thing to say"" *pulls off wig & mask revealing Ashton Kutcher* ""YOU'VE BEEN PUNK'D"""