40423

Joke of the Day

"My car was making this annoying sound . . . . . . so I went to see a mechanic. Me: My car is making an annoying sound. Mechanic: Easy fix. Reach over. Open the door. And push her out."

"What do you call guacamole that won't talk to you? Incommunicado"

"Church of Frugality: ""Thank you for the food which we are about to receive. Ramen."""

"What's the worst part about making out with a perfect 10? The cold feeling on your lips when you realize you're kissing the mirror"

"what's Putin having for Christmas? Turkey"

"I can prove global warming is real. The Chicago Cubs are still playing its October already."

"What's the great thing about 25 year olds? There's 20 of them."

"Whats the worst thing about a Thai Masseuse Bride? They walk all over you."

"What do you call a stupid, ugly, fat cow that gives birth to idiots that don't know when their own mother is being insulted? Your mom."

"What does a Soldier and a Shoulder have in common? They have access to arms."