51093

Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend makes me want to be a better person So I can get a better girlfriend ---Not OC, credit: Anthony Jeselnik"

"to someone with x-ray vision two people making out look like skeletons that are really bad at eating each other"

"It's like my racist grandpa used to say: ""Good morning."" That unrepentant bigot had many flaws, but cordial salutations wasn't one of them."

"What has 200 teeth and holds back Godzilla? My zipper"

"What does L in Samuel L. Jackson stand for? Motherfucker. (from somewhere in YouTube comments)"

"Why did the man put a clock under his desk? He wanted to work overtime."

"A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feels so good."

"What lies on the bottom of the ocean and sweats? A nervous wreck..."

"I bet those 300 Greek soldiers would have stood a better chance if they thought to wear armor instead of going to war in capes & speedos."

"What is the best kind of vegetable? The one in the wheelchair."