51093

Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend makes me want to be a better person So I can get a better girlfriend ---Not OC, credit: Anthony Jeselnik"

"I read that 30% of the internet is pornography and that really makes me disappointed in humanity... ...70% of the internet is being completely wasted."

"How long do chickens work ? Around the cluck !"

"Me: What kind of Dr. treats men who won't talk on the phone? GF: What? M: A Guy-no-call-ogist. GF: I'm killing u in ur sleep tonight."

"This Prius we rented is pretty sweet. It can go 0-60 in 6 hours."

"A Valentines Poem Roses are red Violets are blue Whitney Houston is dead and iiiiiiieeeeiiiii will always love yoooouooooou"

"I usually tell self-deprecating jokes But I'm not very good at it"

"does this typewriter come w emojis"

"Why does Thor have insomnia? He's up all night to get Loki."

"lucifer: let's give them free will and see how they choose God: nice lol I'm gunna steal your idea and send you to hell lucifer: what?"