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Joke of the Day

"I read that 30% of the internet is pornography and that really makes me disappointed in humanity... ...70% of the internet is being completely wasted."

"Just bought animal crackers and a kayak. I hate you Costco."

"Math joke My Calculus teacher told me:""Degrees are essentially useless in this class, we will use radians instead."" I replied:""Is that why you're teaching Calculus?"""

"Walking around Brooklyn, slapping people's brunches to the ground."

"[family hears me pull in driveway] wife: please don't wrestling announcer: sorry ma'am he already paid me. NOW ENTERING THE HOUSE FROM WORK"

"Lawyer: Your Honor, this verdict is bullshit. I'm outta here! Judge: Litigator! Lawyer: After a while crocodile."

"If you want your dreams to be as fascinating to other people as they are to you, don't mention it's a dream until the end of the story."

"If you are Bipolar... ...does it means that you can claim that you are from the North and the South Poles ?"

"My body is a temple Only because it hates Palestine"

"Why did the undercover cop pose as a waiter? So he could protect and serve."