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Joke of the Day

"Me: What kind of Dr. treats men who won't talk on the phone? GF: What? M: A Guy-no-call-ogist. GF: I'm killing u in ur sleep tonight."

"Why do toilets flush after getting pissed on? They get embarrassed."

"I'm not happy about my girlfriends one night stand. I'd really like somewhere to put my phone and spare change when we go to bed."

"Therapist: resentment is like drinking poison in the vain hope it makes your enemies sick Me: not if I'm banking on them eating my body"

"There are 10 types of people in the world... Those that understand binary, and those that don't."

"What's the most confusing holiday in the hood? Kwanzaa. I don't think anyone has a clue what that holiday is."

"My friend just brought home five new chickens for her chicken coop, and asked for suggestions for naming them... I suggested ""breakfast, lunch, dinner, brunch and supper..."""

"What do Mexicans use to cut pizza? Little Caesars."

"When I was a kid, I really didn't like the idea of having facial hair... ...but now it's starting to grow on me."

"Does this subreddit like jokes about sodium? ""Na"""