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Joke of the Day

"Do you accept Jesus Christ as your lord and saviour? No, sorry we only accept Visa or MasterCard."

"Coworker: How are you doing this morning? Me: *finishing hanging bag of coffee upside down like an IV and tying my arm off* Fine, you?"

"Did you hear about the idiot who invented the one-piece jigsaw puzzle?"

"Trees put cats in their hair so they can flirt with firefighters when they climb up them."

"What happens if you cross a parrot with a Gorilla? Nobody is sure but if it opened its mouth to speak you'd listen!"

"Why are dogs always SENSITIVE? ------------ Because they have tears in their eyes"

"I did a theatrical performance on puns today. It was a play on words."

"Where do you store your wine? In the cabernet"

"100$ Bill 1st: Why are you late? 2nd: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill. 1st: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it? 2nd: No, I was standing on it."

"I'm jobless. I'm making a career out of it."