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Joke of the Day

"100$ Bill 1st: Why are you late? 2nd: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill. 1st: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it? 2nd: No, I was standing on it."

"When you open your heart to someone, there is blood. Lots and lots of blood. And then you die. So don't open your heart."

"What does the number 3 have in common with a Tumbler user? They both can't even."

"I think these protesters are sending the wrong message... because they keep telling me to Love Trump's Hate."

"You never have to worry about Starbucks running short on coffee. I hear they always have a latte"

"The guy who invented throat lozenges just died... I heard there will be no coffin at his funeral."

"My father told me a joke. How many Germans does it take screw in a lightbulb? He said Nein My dads jokes are the wurst I tell you."

"First Caribou: What do you call a bee that can't make up his mind? Second Caribou: A maybee."

"Just remember, every time someone misuses the word ""epic"" Zooey Deschanel covers another Smiths song on her ukulele."

"Why can't they use PC's as word-processors in Poland? The screens keep on filling up with white-out."