5067

Joke of the Day

"Why did the bachelors purchase double amputee strippers for their party? Because they were 50% off!"

"That's a Chapstick in my pocket and I'm a little happy to see you."

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except bears, bears will kill you."

"Hubby: This dinner is not gonna make itself!!!!! And that ladies and Gentleman is how I starred on ""COPS"""

"Crazy ex-girlfriends are like a box of chocolates, they'll kill your dog."

"My wife ran away with my best friend. I really miss him."

"I'm a humanitarian. I prefer my human cooked with scallions and a little Worcestershire sauce."

"What file archiver do Tigers use? Win-Rawr."

"How would you get four reindeer in a car? Two in the front and two in the back! And how do you get four polar bears in a car? Take the reindeer out first"

"Things i use duct tape for, by percentage: Pranks: 35% Car repair: 35% Wrapping presents: 20% Medical emergencies: 10% Ducts: 0%"