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Joke of the Day

"I'm a humanitarian. I prefer my human cooked with scallions and a little Worcestershire sauce."

"What do you call a person with native american ancestry and alopecia? apache"

"I didn't let my st-st-stutter stop me from achieving my dream career I'm a door-to-door salesman. I sell ""No Soliciting"" signs. The more I st-st-stutter the more I seem to sell."

"My friend told an out of place joke about police searches. But I don't think it was warranted."

"What do you call an insane nocturnal blood-sucking parasite? A lunartick."

"My dad, a vietnam veteran, told me that there's one thing that always sticks with kids and adults no matter how old they are. Napalm"

"An unsung legacy of Bill Clinton's presidency is that since he left office, no sitting President has shot a load on a non-spouse."

"Why does the law prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients? To prevent clients from being billed twice for what is essentially the same service."

"It doesn't matter how old you get, buying snacks for a road trip should always look like an unsupervised 9-year-old was given $100."

"What's the difference between Trump and Satan? Satan will at least let anyone into hell."