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Joke of the Day
"I'm a humanitarian. I prefer my human cooked with scallions and a little Worcestershire sauce."
Next Joke
"""What's the matter with your dinner ?"" ""Can you describe it for me please in case I need to tell my doctor later what I've eaten !"""
"Life is like a box of chocolates... When you've reached the end you feel sick, ashamed, and you just want to die."
"Judging from all the misery and carnage on my newsfeed, I'm assuming it's Monday."
"ME: If home is where the heart is, I guess I live under a canopy of bloody bones. DMV WORKER: I'm not putting that on your license."
"Police arrested two kids yesterday One was drinking battery acid, the other one eating fireworks. They carged one - and let the other one off."
"Why couldn't the post-it note make it to his son's birthday party? Because he was stuck at the office!"
"What did the bra say to the toupee? You go on ahead, I'll hold these two up."
"Patient: Doctor I get the feeling that people don't give a hoot about anything I say. Psychiatrist: So?"
"Curiosity both did and did not kill Schrodinger's cat."