50521

Joke of the Day

"My spanish class in high school should have had a bit less ""Where is the bathroom"" and a bit more ""She was dead when we got here""."

"I know Pluto isn't a planet you moron. Pluto's a dog."

"What's the russian royalty's favorite type of fish? Czar-dines!"

"If you get behind in your reading check you're not sitting on your book."

"Life is one long earthquake for those tiny dogs who are always shaking."

"What do Kermit the Frog and David Cameron Have in Common? They both like to pork."

"Why didn't the cops ever charge Abraham Lincoln? Because he was always in a cent."

"I wonder what Ethiopian hipsters post on Instagram... But it sure isn't their food..."

"What has two legs and bleeds profusely? Half a cat."

"Sorry Satan, but I'm selling my soul to Buddah. You gotta be fucking stupid to pass up on a tasty offer like ""free Chinese food for life."""