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Joke of the Day

"Whenever my teen cleans his room, I get a brand new set of dishes."

"If you didn't want me to wash my car on your lawn than you never should have turned your sprinkler on."

"A paraplegic went down a runway... She made for a great roll-model."

"Why did God create man first? To give him a chance to speak..."

"If a tree falls in the woods It won't make a sound because it has been copyright claimed by Warner Music Group."

"my friend's apartment building burned down so he's at his parents' and he still won't hang out with me. HOW MANY MORE FIRES DO I NEED TO SET"

"In Egypt they started throwing gay people in the river, an Egyptian friend of mine swears he isn't gay. But he's still in the Nile."

"Bitty and Belly are sitting on the sidewalk A Mercedes drives by and its horn plays a familiar melody. Bitty asks, ""Is that from a movie?"" Belly replies, ""No, it's a car tune."""

"Q: What is the range of a tuba? A: Twenty yards if you've got a good arm."

"What do you call a worker in America that will work hard for reasonable pay and never whine? **An immigrant.**"