202572

Joke of the Day

"Bitty and Belly are sitting on the sidewalk A Mercedes drives by and its horn plays a familiar melody. Bitty asks, ""Is that from a movie?"" Belly replies, ""No, it's a car tune."""

"I like how this car asks me if it's safe to move in reverse. WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I WAS GETTING MARRIED???"

"I just referred to tongs as 'food tweezers' in case you want to be in awe of my command of the English language."

"Why does Mexico never get gold medals in olympics? Because all their swimmers, runners, and high jumpers are in USA."

"Q: Who writes ghost stories? A: A ghost writer."

"I like my women like I like my coffee So hot I fill them with creme in 3 seconds"

"What is the difference between a terrorist training camp and a Pakistani elementary school? I don't know, I just fly the drones."

"What was the first thing Hellen Keller noticed at the beach? The volleyball net."

"In an interview Barbara Walters asks OJ Simpson if he thinks he will ever be married again... He says, ""I don't know... One of these days, I might take another stab at it."""

"What did one snowman say to the other snowman? *sniff* do you smell carrots?"