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Joke of the Day

"Mulder: it's some sort of over-fed grim reaper judgment figure. Scully: we're at the mall, Mulder. That's just Santa."

"What do you call a stoned, dyslexic crow? A hybrid"

"[ultrasound] Dr: your baby is 7mm in length Me [whispering to wife]: ask him Wife [sighs]: what is that in fruit sizes?"

"knock knock who's there? To To who? AH AH AH, to whom"

"Why did the Bear dissolve in water? He was polar"

"I was walking down the street one day.. and a man threw a bit of cheese at my head, i turned to him and said; 'oh, real mature mate'."

"If you're seen one shopping centre... You've seen a mall."

"Saw a grown man riding down the street on a BMX. I yelled what does BMX stand for? He replied ""DUI""."

"I got Mood Poisoning. Must have been something I hate."

"Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with."