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Joke of the Day

"[ultrasound] Dr: your baby is 7mm in length Me [whispering to wife]: ask him Wife [sighs]: what is that in fruit sizes?"

"Who's Kony's favorite rapper? Soulja Boy."

"Why don't witches wear underwear? So they can get a better grip on the broom."

"What's warm, white, and I drink almost every night? Warm milk before bed... Get your mind out of the gutter!"

"If you steal my identity and get a credit card I'll be impressed. Not because you stole my identity, but because you got approved. Kudos!"

"What do you call 10,000 SJW's at the bottom of the ocean? a good start."

"What is a 6.9? A good thing ruined by a period."

"A lot of things can be preserved in alcohol. My dignity is not one of them."

"[Dark Humor]Why is suicide illegal? Destruction of government property."

"What do you call a sleep walking nun? A Roman Catholic"