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Joke of the Day

"Doctor: ok, just need a urine sample & we're done. Me handing him my boxers: I'm in a rush. Just wring these out."

"I almost had a heart attack when I saw a black man carrying a TV like mine. Then I remembered mine was at home working in the garden."

"So it turns out that fat bearded man whose lap I was sitting on at the mall wasn't Santa. LOL drugs."

"I think the inventor of the internet likely didn't intend for it to be used to post videos of simians reacting to humans doing magic tricks."

"Q: Why does Motel 6 ""keep the light on for you"" A: So the roaches won't come out."

"How many millennials does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to do it, the other to give him his ribbon."

"I'll stop at nothing to avoid using negative numbers."

"Why does ISIS drink instant coffee? Because they hate French press!"

"A northern californian sees alot of helicopters in the sky... ...he turns to his friend and says, ""Hella Copters"""

"I became a vegan yesterday... ...but I tell you, it was a missed-steak."