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Joke of the Day

"Why does ISIS drink instant coffee? Because they hate French press!"

"I saw someone use ""Terrierist"" instead of ""Terrorist"" and I don't know whether I should be afraid of my dogs or not."

"You remember, in 2008 and 2012, when the right rioted, burned police cars, trashed small businesses, and claimed that President Elect Obama was not their president? Huh, yeah me either."

"Why is the Dead Sea a mod on /r/leagueoflegends? Because it's so salty."

"If you had to describe your sex life with a famous historical quote Mine would be 'I did not have sexual relations with that woman' - Bill Clinton"

"Why does Mexico do so badly in the Olympics ? Because everyone who can run, jump or swim is in the US."

"I noticed that you're still staring at me after I already answered your question, what can we do to stop this"

"What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man on the moon, and Michael Jackson rapes kids and gets away with it."

"I've been so stressed recently I've been doing that Chinese thing with the needles. You know...heroin."

"I wonder if I've come a lake yet."