43710

Joke of the Day

"I think the inventor of the internet likely didn't intend for it to be used to post videos of simians reacting to humans doing magic tricks."

"Dams. The only thing that holds back liquid better... Is the idea of using a port-a-potty. ""Look, I know my pants are brownening and getting wet, but I'll just wait forever -- I CANNOT go in there."""

"We trace hands to make turkeys. Quite a handy technique."

"You mean 'idiosyncrasies' doesn't mean two or more idiots doing the same thing at the same time?"

"Die Hard VIII: Die Even More Harder: Mostest Harderest."

"Nancy Reagan didn't have to die... But she said no to drugs."

"What do you call it when one piece of coal asks another piece of coal out to dinner? Carbon dating."

"One potato asks another: -""Are you sure we are related?"" -""Yes I yam!"""

"If you want to say something ""rude"" for the person you hate the most: 'It wouldn't be worth it to buy your voodoo doll, because i would anyways throw it in a fire right away. it's money wasting!"

"[OC] Are vegetarians allowed to have pudding? If so how can they have pudding if they don't eat their meat?"