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Joke of the Day

"I got caled into jury duty today... That's going to result in a well hung jury."

"If Ronald Reagan were alive today he would roll in his grave... roll, scream, kick and so would you if you woke up in a casket."

"My physics teacher asked me if I understood the chapter on linear motion. I said ""yeah it's pretty straightforward"""

"I moved to Australia, I've never been so appreciated! I've had so many offers to ""Get F**ked!""... I have the pick of the litter!!"

"We should head on over to that schizophrenic party. It sounds like a lot of people are there."

"I turned my phone onto ""Airplane mode"" and threw it up into the air... Worst transformer ever"

"Never trust an atom They make up everything."

"Biggest Jewish Dilemma? Free Bacon!!"

"What do you call a gay Ginger? Flaming."

"""Okay--don't get cancer."" (My response to ""Have a safe flight."")"