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Joke of the Day

"For every action, there is a corresponding over-reaction."

"What's the best way to get a fat chick to have sex with you? Whoops, wrong subreddit"

"What is the chemical composition of a fire hydrant? K9P."

"remeber: you hav the same number of hours in the day as this tree. and how much oxygen hav u produced? oh none? oh u CONSUMED OXYGEN!?!???"

"My friend lied to me about pooping in the slow cooker. What a crock of shit."

"NSF(Life) Why was the strawberry crying? Because it's mom was in a real jam."

"Nothing says defeat than deleting your own tweet."

"If Oprah took over Favstar, everyone would get a trophy."

"If 40 is the new 20, does that mean 20 is the new 10, and if so, do I need to delete these photos off my phone?"

"I can't sleep in my bed anymore, my mind races thinking of all the stupid stuff I've done in the past. Stupid memory foam..."